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  #1  
Old 07-15-2010, 01:44 PM
Nuge Nuge is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 6
The Konoha Departed

"That was quite some years ago wasn't it?" The single candle cast an eerie light through the cavern, but Sauske could only tell my how the heat warmed his arms tightly folded across his chest. Even with his eyes closed the perception of a ninja from the leaf vill- a survivor of the Uchiha clan, is something to be envied.

Sauske set his jaw. It seems lately that reminders of Konoha and the life he left behind we running through his veins, and coursing though his mind. As if with Itachi's eyes he sees the world suddenly differently.

"Some kind of genjutsu!" Sauske's brow began to feel hot and it seemed the weight of the world was upon him. Sharply shaking his head, thoughts began racing more quickly than ever. "This can't be an illusion when that man is dead."

In that moment he could still see the gaze of his brother piercing through his Sharingan, he could still feel the firm pressure of Itachi's fingertips pressing on his forehead: preventing him from traveling the true path of Uchiha.

Mandara turned his head to see his young pupil shoot up from the hospital bed where the operation was successful and scowled. "What's the problem with you lately..? It's like-"

"I'm going for some air."

And just like that, Sauske slammed the door behind him and breathed deeply in the mountain air. With a sigh it became evident that this was not helping. He clutched his chest and tightened his other hand into a fist. The strength he had was unparalleld, which was, he reasoned, the goal in all of this. But there were so many things that kept haunting him. No matter what great feats of genjutsu were in his reach there was something he could never touch.

A handsome face with bright, blonde hair held a wide, carefree smile mocking the shinobi path that led Sauske to where he was now.

Alone.

With nothing but countless taken lives and eyes that could forge new realites; none of which amounted to anything. Sauske is living in an illusion as he realizes now, and shrowded in darkness he removes the bandages covering his eyes.

As he sees the light radiating from the horizon, he still feels the darkness of the fragile world that with his illusions, he has created.



[This is just a really small piece of something I was thinking about writing if it had enough support. Please give your honest opinions and I'm sorry about the small length.

Enjoy. Chris.]

Last edited by Nuge : 07-17-2010 at 08:54 AM.
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  #2  
Old 07-17-2010, 06:37 AM
hokage333 hokage333 is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 4,217
pretty good.

though it seems more like a poem, IMO.

but still very good.
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  #3  
Old 07-17-2010, 08:52 AM
Nuge Nuge is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 6
Yeah, I was a little pressed for time when writing and brought it to a close earlyish. If everyone from here on in would do a rating out of ten that would be very helpful :]
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  #4  
Old 08-13-2010, 10:48 PM
css_maya css_maya is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 20
Thumbs up wow


FINALLY
a new story that is not starting from old crap and new ideas, man you should start this story, and won't stop until it ends.
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