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#11
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It was inevitable it's based around Naruto and I hate the vast majority of other females in the show like literally I like Hinata and like Temari. Naruto surely wasn't getting with Temari.
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#12
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Is it necessary to center and underline the text?
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#13
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NO but I think it makes it look pretty. Why? Btw I'm not joking I center and underline because it looks cool to me.
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#14
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Ehh the centering isn't that bad but the underlining is terrabad. Makes it an eye sore. All from now on could you use quotation marks instead of making the quote italisized?
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#15
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Sure I don't mind changing it.
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#16
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#17
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It's cool if you see anything else just ask.
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#18
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Well your title in your first post is to plain. I tshould be bolded and underlined like the other titles of your chapters. The "A" in the title of your second chapter should be capitalized and the title should be centered. Also in the 4th paragraph of chapter 2 you left an [/i] left over.
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#19
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Quote:
Last edited by codecatx5 : 12-19-2009 at 03:39 PM. |
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#20
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Chapter 3: Informing the Team Our Hero and his new girlfriend finish there journey into the Ichraku Noodle Shop. As they sat down Naruto saw the somewhat angry face of Sakura and shuddered at what she was opening her mouth to say. The pink haired woman yelled “Naruto, your late! Then you bring a guest and don’t say anything about it! I ought to… ” But before she could really start the tongue-lashing she was interrupted by her dark haired teammate. “It’s alright Sakura. Naruto was just going to get his girlfriend and maybe some of things they were doing before they got here dragged on for a while. We only got here a couple of minutes ago anyway because of our “special activities”.” Immediately a strong blush flew across Sakura’s face as she thought about what “Activities” had taken place. But to keep she still chose to carry the conversation this part of the conversation on. “ I let it slip this time but next time you’ll get the Cherry blossom Impact. “ Sasuke taking the prime opportunity to cut Sakura off again spoke. “ So it’s been along time Hinata. It seems everyone has changed so much. At first Naruto stopped being a failure. Then Sakura decided to be able to fight and now I find the shyest of our group to have grown to become incredibly beautiful. ” “Thank you Sasuke, but you were the one who had us worried. But it turned out you were on our side all along.” “Hinata you give me too much credit. It was mostly Naruto and his persistence that kept me from truly going over the edge. I’ll explain when I was confronted by the sound 4 and the battle between me and Naruto at the Final Valley happened I was further convinced that by separating myself from the village and my friends I would gain more power. But as I went through Orochimaru’s training and planned my battle with Itachi I realized there must have been more too it than what was at face value. First there is no way that even Itachi could kill all of the Uchiha’s and his change was completely radical. His motives didn’t even pan out so, I did the only thing I could I became strong enough to get the information out of him. So when I found out Madara was the one who helped him and Danzo worked with the Hokage’s advisors to convince Itachi to do the fratracide I decided right then that I had to change my goal. But first I would have to find out whether what Madara was saying was true so I faced the Hachibi but when he tried to escape but left us a replacement I let him go but delivered the replacement to gain Akatsuki’s trust and to get there help with finding and dealing with Danzo. When I met Danzo though I found his motives were less for the village and more for his own personal gain to get the Sharingans left in each of there bodies so he could implant them into himself. My encounter with him also allowed me to clear the 3rd Hokage of any association with the massacre. After that my last goals were to first let the village know by informing Naruto who clearly being the loud mouth that he is had to let everyone know, next part was to find a way to dispose of Madara to both protect Naruto and finish my revenge and my last goal was to restore the Uchiha clan and the only way I can do that is to have kids and Sakura is gonna make that part of the job quite a bit easier. So, how did you and Naruto come to be? Oh and don’t you dare say that it’s not like that because when I first implied it neither of you denied it.” “Sasuke It’s not a big secret but it did kinda just happened. Naruto came to visit to talk about his fight with Pain… Teuchi having been preparing everyone’s meal for them decided to cut in to tell them that their food was ready. So he delivered the bowls of Ramen Sasuke and Sakura ordered Kitsune Miso, Naruto ordered got a spice enhanced Nagasaki Champon and Hinata got a bowl of Tsuke Men. Though Sakura was close to saying something she look over to the new couple and saw a romantic sight of them feeding each other. Seeing the sight of them made her want to try it with Sasuke but she knew from the glare Sasuke was giving her that it would be a foolish choice to try that. Even so Sasuke picked up on her desire and kissed her on the cheek providing her much needed feeling of love. After finishing a few rounds of ramen Sasuke thought of a idea and he quickly spoke the proposal to his orange haired teammate. “Naruto, I have a proposal for you. Sakura is the weakest out our team combat wise and I’ve decided to train her to further her abilities but that’s not enough of a factor to inspire determination. But this little diner has me thinking if I could put someone of similar strength against her and cause a competition I could maybe speed the training process up.” “Okay Sasuke I get it but where was the proposal in that statement?” Asked the blond haired Jonin. “ I challenge you to train Hinata to fight against Sakura in three months. I’ve heard about Hinata trying her hardest to become a stronger shinobi and you could definitely do it. The terms are the losers trainer must be their trainee’s slave for a month and the winners trainer… well that’s up to the trainee. Do you want to do it?” The dark hair jonin closed his mouth anticipating the answer but already knew what it was when he saw the grin of both Naruto and Hinata. “Hinata do you want to do it?” Naruto inquired of his girlfriend. “Yes I would. I want to make Jonin and I can’t think of a better way.” Sasuke seeing the answer he wanted in the faces of his rival and his girlfriend gave all the details he had previously thought of. “So it’s settled. According to the treaty of the 5 great countries there won’t be but a few missions outside the fire country for us. So, in three months we will meet at the stadium and have this battle. It doesn’t matter what methods you use to train but I advise you not to go too hard on her. In any case me and Sakura will be leaving to do a “midnight training session”. We’ll meet you guys later. “ Sasuke and Sakura stood from their chairs and paid Teuchi the money for their tab and left in a rush. Leaving Naruto to discuss how he planned to prepare Hinata for her match. “Okay Hinata your training will start in the morning at the old training grounds in the woods by the stream. I will be waiting there for you at 5:00 a.m. Okay?” “Yes Sir Sensei” Hinata tried responded in her most formal voice. “Okay Hina-chan I’ll walk you too your house.” Naruto and Hinata walked to her house deciding it was better for her to gather her things there instead of going to back to the hospital. Even though they had not technically released her she was already given the okay to train. So, at her door she gave him a small kiss and went inside. Naruto started his tread to his home and thought of what training he was going to make Hinata go through. ~End of Chapter~ |
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