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#11
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I've been writing for a few years now, but I've never wrote anything for an audience. A friend and I are in the world-building phases of our one Tolkien-esque fantasy novel. This is the first time I've ever wrote something for the general public to read. I got inspired to write my own fanfiction after reading A Growing Affection here and then Team 8 on Fanfiction.net.
Thank you for the support. |
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#12
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real nice stuff, dood.
so, is kakashi now a ninja that does everything by the book? |
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#13
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Maybe, maybe not. I haven't really figrued out how Kakashi's personality may have changed since Obito didn't die. Luckily, I don't plan on him entering the story until the Chunin Exams Arch at the earliest, so I got a little bit of time before I have to come to a concrete decision. However, I can say, that the option I'm leaning the most to is a Kakashi that's a cross between Gaiden Kakashi and Kakashi during his time with Team 7.
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#14
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I must say I like it.
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#15
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Four Man Squads Chapter 1 continued
-------------------------- Hinata waited until she was almost back to the Hyuga compound until she slowed down. What was wrong with her, running away from Naruto like that. He probably thought she was awful for just leaving him there. Worse, he probably thought she didn’t think he was a nice person, and just couldn’t say it to his face. Here she was getting ready to be on a team with Naruto, and she could barely say more than a few sentences to him before she starts stumbling over her words and just acting like an idiot in general. As she walked up to the entrance of the Hyuga part of Konoha, she was still chiding herself for acting the way she had, and vowed to make it up to Naruto tomorrow, no matter what. First, however, she had to get her gear ready for the morning. The night held nothing but nightmares for her though. Horrid dreams where all she could see was Naruto’s back and no matter how much she yelled or what she tried to do to get his attention, he just ran on and left her behind, alone. ------------------------- Sakura walked up to the training ground she was supposed to meet Sasuke-kun, Obito-sensei, and the rest of her team at. It was a nice little area as she looked around. It was a small clearing flanked on one side by the river that ran through Konoha, and a forest on the other. The most prominent feature of the area though where the 3 stone stumps in the middle of the training ground. Sakura assumed they were placed there as dummies for target practice and other sorts of training. She also noticed that she wasn’t the first one there, Sasuke was leaning up against one of the stones. “Hi, Sasuke-kun.” she yelled as she ran up to meet him, “Pretty nice weather today, isn’t it? What kind of exercise do you think Obito-sensei will put us through.” “I don’t know,” Sasuke stated simply, “Obito and I aren’t really close.” “Oh…” Sakura said as she heard someone yell out behind her. “Hello, Sakura-san!” Naruto was running out into the clearing waving at her with one of his stupid grins on his face. **** that Naruto, couldn’t he see she was trying to get some alone time with her beloved? Geez, he is so annoying. “What do you want, Naruto?” Sakura glared at Naruto with eyes of pure hatred. Naruto stopped dead in his tracks, and just stared at her before finally saying, “Um, nice weather were having today, isn’t it?” “Yeah, I guess.” Sakura said as she turned back to face Sasuke. She barely heard the footsteps of another person entering the clearing. She turned her head again to see Hinata step out into the open. She was very pointedly not making eye contact with Naruto, and he was doing the same. Did something happen between those two yesterday? “Well, it looks like everyone is here, where is Obito-sensei?” Sakura asked the group in general as she looked at the sun. She could tell by it’s position and the time of year that it should be right at 6:00 AM. “He’s late for his own test.” The four of them just stood around for what seemed like hours. The odd air around Naruto and Hinata continued and they wouldn’t speak to each other. Sakura tried talking to Sasuke, while Naruto was trying to talk to her, and all that ended up happening was Sasuke ignored her, while she ignored Naruto. The day was starting to get hotter as the morning wore on, even most of the forest animals seemed to be taking it easy today. It was an unusually hot day after the perfect day that was yesterday. Finally, Sakura heard a twig snap and turned her head along with everyone else to see there sensei casually strolling into the clearing. She started to shout at their sensei, and surprisingly found herself shouting the same thing at the exact same time as Naruto did, “WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?” “I’m sorry, I was on my way and found out my landlord’s mother bought some new furniture and some appliances, and needed help moving in. Took a little longer than I had planned.” Obito said with a sheepish grin on his face. “Likely story.” Sakura heard Naruto mumble, and for once she had to agree with the idiot. “Well, let’s see, I guess I should start explaining what kind of exam you four are going to have. The test is simple, I have three bells,” Sakura watched as he pulled three small bells from his equipment pouch, and bounced them in the air with a jingle, “The premise is simple, you have to get a bell or you fail. If you fail to get a bell before noon, I’ll tie you to one of those stumps over there and you get to watch me and whoever of your teammates pass eat lunch while you go hungry. After that, we’ll see where we go from there.” “Um… sensei” Sakura heard Hinata say, “If you only have three bells, not all of us can pass.” Sakura turned her attention back to her new instructor. “That is correct Hinata. No matter what happens here, at least one person will fail.” Obito replied simply. “But that’s no fair.” Sakura replied. Obito simply shrugged, “No one ever said life was fair.” He then pulled out an egg timer. “It’s currently 8:22, you have until Noon sharp before the exam is over, we start now.” ------------------------------ Obito watched as 3 out of his four pupils scattered to take up hiding spots and wait for a chance to snatch a bell. The only one who didn’t move was Naruto. He stood there with a grin on his face then pointed at Obito, then he issued a two word challenge, “Fight me!” Obito sighed, maybe this group was going to be a little rougher to teach than he originally thought. “Are you saying you think you can win a one on one fight against me, Naruto?” Obito asked, with a grin to his lips. “I’m the future Hokage, and I’ll thump you and take those bells for my team myself, I can’t fail here.” Naruto said with all confidence, then he charged at Obito. ------------------------------ Naruto eyes widened in shock as Obito was there one moment, and then simply wasn’t. Before Naruto could make any sense out of the situation he felt something grab him by the ankles and throw him high into the air. He landed in the river. “**** it,: Naruto thought to himself, “he’s fast I won’t be able to beat him one on one. I guess that leaves me with one choice.” “Shadow Clone Jutsu” Naruto said as about 10 copies of himself popped out of thin…er, water. |
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#16
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Four Man Squads Chapter 1 conclusion
----------------------- Hinata had managed to hide herself in the forest, and had activated her Byakugan, when Naruto started his charge of their sensei. Hinata could barely keep up with sensei’s speed as he spun behind Naruto grabbed him by the ankles and chucked him into the river. “How am I going to be able to get one of those bells, if Naruto-kun can’t even do it.” Hinata thought to herself. She was startled as a mass of people launched themselves out of the water. I took her a second, but she realized they were all Naruto, and they weren’t just normal clones, they each had their own chakra system, they were real not the illusions they were taught at the academy. Hinata watched in amazement as the clones resumed their attack on Obito-sensei. However, what amazed her more than Naruto’s advanced ninjutsu was Obito’s speed and power. The clones never laid a hand on Obito, not even so much as a passing glance, while he managed to land serious blows on each one of the clones, dispelling each one into a puff of smoke. Soon after the attack started, there was only one Naruto left. “**** it.” Naruto shouted, “Shadow Clone Jutsu” Hinata watched as 30 more clone popped into place, each one with seemingly the same amount of chakra as the original Naruto. How much chakra did he have to use a technique like that? Before she could think about her own question, she figured out her plan of attack, if Naruto kept throwing clones at Obito, then Hinata should be able to slip in and snatch a bell. However, before she could enact her plan she saw a streak of blue. It was Sasuke, apparently he had the same idea that she had. Sasuke dashed into the melee and attempted to snatch one of the bells attached to Obito’s waist. However, Naruto’s clones weren’t expecting the addition of Sasuke to the battle and one bowled Sasuke over after he was hit by Obito. Obito, smiled as he made a few hand signs. “Fire Style: Great Fireball Jutsu” Obito said as he brought his hands to his mouth and then proceeded to blow fire across all the clones of Naruto, making them all disappear as if they had never been. “I’ll give you credit for knowing a pretty advanced jutsu, Naruto. But with your level of skills you aren’t going to be able to get close to my bells. The same goes for you, Sasuke-kun.” Obito lectured. He seemed distracted and his back was turned to her, so Hinata decided to give it her best shot. She dashed out of the treeline as fast as she could, aiming a Jyuuken strike at her sensei’s leg hoping she could disable him long enough to grab a bell. However, she had to abruptly stop as a couple of kunai flashed in front of her, and into Obito’s hands. “Nice try, kiddos.” Obito said as he turned to look at her and Sakura, who Hinata noticed was still hiding in the trees almost back and to the left of her. Hinata realized that this wasn’t going to work, they were getting in each other’s way. Someone was going to have to bite the bullet and fail this test. She didn’t know Sakura or Sasuke enough to ask that of them, and she didn’t want to do anything that would endanger Naruto’s dream of becoming Hokage one day. So it looked like the one to fail was going to be her. “Everyone, we need to talk.” Hinata said as they were all in earshot. “We can’t do this alone, we have to work as a team.” She then retreated back into the forest to hide from their sensei turned opponent. Shortly, the other three joined her. “But,” Sakura started, “one of us is guaranteed to fail, how can we work as a team when we can’t trust each other not to try to grab a bell when the opportunity presents itself and save their own skin?” “It’s simple, I’ll take the fail.” Hinata said, “It’s okay with me, I’m not that strong, and even if I don’t get to eat I shouldn’t drag down the team any more than usual.” “No way!” Naruto all but shouted, “I can’t let you do that, we don’t even know if we are all going to get to be active genins or not, what if this means you don’t get to be a ninja?” “Well…I….uh” Hinata stammered. “Well, kiddos, I’ve heard enough for myself.” Hinata was shocked when Obito appeared in the middle of their little powwow, “You all pass.” Obito then smiled apporvingly at all of them. “Wait… what it going on?” Naruto asked. Instead of Obito answering, it was Sasuke who replied, “I get it, this was a test to put us into a stressful situation in which a choice that would hinder one of us would benefit the rest of the team.” Obito merely nodded, then stated, “That’s only the first half of it though, the second is after one of you decides to sacrifice his or herself for the good of the team, how would the rest of you react. In the ninja world, those who disobey the rules are scum. However, those who would just abandon their friends and comrades to achieve a mission are worse than scum. You guys proved to me with this little get together of yours that you are capable of fighting not only for yourselves, but for each other, and to protect each other. Therefore, you all pass, I’ll be passing my recommendation on to the Hokage, to keep Team 7 together. The passing teams should be posted in a few days, if you guys make it, we’ll meet up at the same park I took you to yesterday. Well, you guys passed faster than I thought you would, only about an hour has passed, how about I go treat you all to some lunch?” “Can we go to Ichiraku?” Naruto asked enthusiastically. “You do really like your ramen, don’t you?” Obito mused, “No, I’m going to take you to one of my favorite places and we’ll celebrate.” “Hai!” Naruto and Hinata said in unison, and Team 7 gathered their things and took off back to Konoha. Hinata was relieved, they passed, that meant more time she would be able to spend with Naruto-kun. ------------------------ Author's notes and questions Chapter one is done. Sadly, I'm not that happy with the battle, something feels off to me, but I just couldn't place my finger on what. Anyway, as always, enjoy and constructive criticism is always appreciated. Also, I've put in for a Fanfiction.net account, and I should be able to start posting this there in a few days. Please support the release there if you can, it will be appreciated. One last thing, in the release of this on fanfiction.net, I was hoping someone would have a good idea of a title that's better than Four Man Squads, it's rather bland and I'd like to have something eye-catching, if anyone can think of something better to name this, I'd be greatly appreciative. Last edited by 109th Star : 09-01-2009 at 07:29 AM. |
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#17
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I think your doing a great job 109, and I think the name is just fine considering the only other thing I could think to call it is
"Legend of the Fated 4" ...lol |
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#18
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Chapter 1 is now up at Fanfiction.net. It's still under the same title. In other news, I've began work on chapter 2, and I hope to have it our early next week. I'm going to try and get onto a one chapter a week schedule.
Thanks for the support so far guys. |
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#19
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Another status update, the outline for Chapter 2 is done, and it's looking to be a huge chapter, so much so that I might split it up into 2 chapters. Just so you all know how big it is, the outline for Chapter 1 was one page, Ch. 2's outline is two and a half pages.
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#20
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Chapter 2
Training, D-ranked Missions, and Happy Days Naruto woke feeling good. He was sure that Team 7 passed, hell it was barely even an hour before they passed Obito-sensei’s exam. That had to be some sort of record or something. Naruto got up out of bed and fixed himself some instant ramen, it wasn’t as good as the stuff from Ichiraku’s, but Naruto couldn’t afford to eat there every meal, even though the gods knew he wished he could. After finishing his breakfast, he took a quick shower, slapped on one of his patented orange jumpsuits, and headed to the Konoha Ninja Academy, where the results of the exams would be posted. Naruto locked the door to his apartment, and leapt, literally, down the stairs. As he leapt the bottom flight of the stairs, he saw Sakura’s trademark pink hair on the other side of the street. “Hello! Sakura-chan.” Naruto yelled as he waved and crossed the street. Sakura turned around and looked at him with a mildly disgusted look on her face, however she did wait for him to catch up. “What do you want Naruto?” she said in a no-nonsense tone. “Umm… nothing really, just wanted to walk with my teammate to see if we passed.” Naruto replied earnestly. “Well… OK, that’s fine I guess.” Sakura said as they strolled down the street together. After a few minutes of silence, Sakura asked a question, “So do you think we passed?” “Oh yeah, definitely.” Naruto replied with his hands behind his head looking at the sky. “I mean we finished that test in like an hour. I mean, that has to be some sort of record right?” “Yeah, you’re probably right.” Sakura agreed. “Hey, isn’t that Hinata?” Naruto said pointing ahead of them, to a lavender-haired girl. “Hey! Hinata-chan! Wait up!” Hinata stopped suddenly and turned around, waiting for Naruto and Sakura to catch up. “H-hello, N-naruto, Sakura.” Hinata said sheepishly as they joined her. “How’s it going Hinata?” Naruto asked. He had completely forgot the awkwardness between them a few days ago. Hinata, however had not forgotten, “um…. I-I’m okay, I guess.” She still refused to make eye contact with Naruto, and had went back to pressing her forefingers together, her staple nervous habit. They strolled on in relative silence until they reached the Konoha Ninja Academy. The three of them saw Sasuke waiting at the front door. “I was wondering when you guys were going to show up.” Sasuke sighed, “I was getting bored of waiting.” “S-sorry, Sasuke.” Hinata said as she bowed deeply. “Geez, can’t you lighten up a little Sasuke?” Naruto said with a smile, “It can’t be good for your health to be a stuck up jerk all the time.” Next thing Naruto knew his chin was resting quite… firmly on the ground. He was also pretty sure he was seeing the prettiest night sky ever in his life. “Don’t like that to Sasuke-kun, you knucklehead” Sakura shouted, fist still raised, at the same time Hinata whispered, “Na-naruto-kun?” Sasuke just sighed at what he saw, “Let’s just go see if we passed or not.” With that, he turned and walked through the doorway. Sakura ran in after him, and Naruto scrambled to his feet, not to be left behind. That left Hinata bringing up the rear. The room in which the final results where to be posted was full, and everybody in the room was confident, sure that they had been the ones who had passed. Team 7 took some open seats in the back of the class and oozed confidence just like everyone else in the room, well everyone except for Hinata. Eventually, Iruka-sensei strolled into the room carrying a piece of paper. He taped it up to the blackboard and then addressed the class. “For those of you who pass, you will be meeting with your jonin instructors again sometime today. For the rest of you, you are to report to Ninja Operations to receive your orders and what is to be expected of you in the next few years. You may check the sheet now.” Everybody poured our of their seats to see if they passed. Team 7 was one of the last teams able to see the sheet: Active Duty Genin Teams Team 7: Haruno, Sakura; Hyuuga, Hinata; Uchiha, Sasuke; Uzumaki, Naruto Team 8: Aburame, Shino; Inuzuka, Kiba; Kanadzuchi, Kaen; Wangetsu, Shiroi Team 10: Akimichi, Chouji; Nara, Shikamaru; Tadashii, Tsuneni; Yamanaka, Ino “Yes! We passed.” Naruto shouted as he gave a leaping fist pump. “I told you we would Sakura-chan!” Naruto was so riled up in his celebration, he didn’t notice some of the other genin staring at his back, obviously angry. “Um…N-naruto-kun” Hinata tried to say, but she was drowned out by one of her former classmates, “How in the hell did you pass ahead of any of us, you little *****?” Naruto spun around, the genin that was addressing him was one of the largest boys in the class, actually the only genin bigger than him was Choji. “I guess I’m just better than you are.” Naruto said with a grin on his face. “Why you little…” the larger genin started to raise his fist. “What? You wanna go a round?” Naruto egged him on, hands already making the seal for the Shadow Clone Jutsu. “Will you stop picking fights with everybody, you idiot!” Sakura yelled as she punched him on the head, again. As she did it, the larger genins fist was now coming straight at Sakura instead of Naruto. Sakura had inadvertently knocked Naruto out of the way, and put herself in the path of the oncoming fist. Just as she was bracing for impact, she heard the smack of flesh on flesh contact, but she didn’t feel any pain. As Naruto and Sakura looked up, Sasuke was standing there with the larger genin’s fist caught square in his hand. “I would highly suggest that you vent your anger in a much more positive way, like training. If I see you so much as look at my teammates wrong again, I’ll break your arm.” Sasuke threatened, then released the larger boy’s hand. The larger genin rubbed his hand and shot a nasty look at the Uchiha, then to Naruto, “Fine, whatever.” He said as he turned to walk away. Sasuke then looked down at Naruto, “Get up, idiot. We got to go meet Obito at the park.” He then started striding out the door. ****, where does he get off acting so cool, Naruto thought as he brushed himself off. Sakura was already trailing after Sasuke, and Naruto was too angry to notice the look of concern on Hinata’s face as he stalked out of the room. Hinata followed as the others left, unsure if there was something she should say, or even could say. ------------------- A/N: I just suddenly got inspired tonight, so here's the first part of Chapter 2, enjoy! |
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