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View Poll Results: How is it?
1/10 it sucks don't ever write again or I'll stab you in the face. 1 14.29%
2/10 it sucks but maybe I will just severely burn you 0 0%
3/10 it sucks but there may be other writing options for you 0 0%
4/10 it sucks but it can be improved! 0 0%
5/10 it's alright 0 0%
6/10 it's slightly better than alright 1 14.29%
7/10 it's good! keep on trucking! (as if I would ever stop ^_^) 0 0%
8/10 it's good! more now plz! 2 28.57%
9/10 it's grrrrrreat! keep writing! 0 0%
10/10 it's ungodly good! if it were a card it would be broken! 3 42.86%
Voters: 7. You may not vote on this poll

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  #1  
Old 01-19-2008, 02:26 PM
rasengan_pwns_chidori rasengan_pwns_chidori is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 3,797
Expression of Pain

Well, I can only think of three chapters right now, so I'll post the rest later. Based on Itachi/Sasuke relationship at the end of the Save Sasuke story arc. In post below

Last edited by rasengan_pwns_chidori : 01-19-2008 at 03:01 PM.
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  #2  
Old 01-19-2008, 03:01 PM
rasengan_pwns_chidori rasengan_pwns_chidori is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 3,797
Chapter 1: Memory, Chapter 2: Pleased to Meet you, & Chapter 3: You are Weak!

Sasuke ran and ran, not knowing what this pain was. His entire body ached as though he had been stabbed. Worst of all, the pain was horrible in his heart. Stopping to look in a puddle, he saw the unleashed curse mark. There were black marks all over his face and arms. Wincing, he started running again. "Gaahh!" he shouted, falling to the ground. His body hadn't been this tired since.... since tree-climbing training with Naruto. He remembered how they had fought to make the highest mark on the tree. How they had stood on the treetops, laughing, and it was the best feeling in the world. As he stared into the puddle, he saw a single tear drop into the water. He pounded the ground, and thought, "Stupid Naruto. So stupid. Why did you have to do this? You didn't have to come after me. Why didn't you just let me go! I was the worst comrade, the worst friend you could ever have!"
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As he sat there shivering, he heard a crinkling in the leaves. He turned around and saw a man with a half white, half black body coming out of the ground. The man seemed to have been swallowed by a venus fly trap. The man wore a cloak just like Itachi's, and Sasuke jumped up when he realized this. "Who or what the heck are you?" Sasuke asked the man. "What do you want from me?" The man replied, "My name is Zetsu. I would like to talk to you about the Akatsuki. Specifically.... your brother." Sasuke turned to walk away, remarking, "Peh, my brother? I think you know everything about him. i think you know him very closely." Zetsu smiled, and said, "Your observation serves you well. I do know your brother. But what I don't know, is what I wish to know the most. What did it feel like? When your family was murdered before your very eyes? Did it hurt?" Sasuke kept walking. Zetsu sunk into the ground. Sasuke turned, saw the man gone, and said, "Well, I guess I'm off to Orochimaru."
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Sasuke started walking, and then jumped as the venus-fly-trap-looking thing on Zetsu's head popped out of the ground. Zetsu yelled, "Did it hurt? Did it hurt..... as much as this?" As Zetsu sent a kick at Sasuke, Sasuke opened his eyes. His eyes now glowed red with the Sharingan. Sasuke blocked the kick, punched Zetsu, and dropped to the ground. He performed the hand signs, and behold! The Chidori! Sasuke said, "It's hard to express pain in words, the pain I felt that day. But maybe, I can show you!" He flew at Zetsu, and plunged the chidori through the air. "What?" Sasuke shouted, as he realized that there was nothing in front of him. He saw Zetsu sinking into the ground below him. He turned and bounced off of the tree. He heard a voice from the trees, but he couldn't pinpoint it. "Farewell, Sasuke. I had thought that you would be a worthy opponent, but Itachi was right. The last of the Uchiha clan is nothing but a weak loser! Do you hear that, Sasuke? You are weak!" Sasuke yelled, "Katon! Gokakyou no Jutsu! (Fire style: Fireball Jutsu!) and burned down all of the trees. He looked through the haze, and all he saw was smoke. He just dodged a kunai flying past him. He heard, as though it was far away, "Weak!"

What do you think? I might not make any more chapters, but I just got the idea for this.

Last edited by rasengan_pwns_chidori : 01-19-2008 at 04:04 PM.
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  #3  
Old 01-19-2008, 03:05 PM
combomasterchuy combomasterchuy is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 169
.......

its really cool...cant wait till next...you should think about it
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  #4  
Old 01-19-2008, 03:24 PM
rasengan_pwns_chidori rasengan_pwns_chidori is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 3,797
Quote:
Originally Posted by combomasterchuy View Post
its really cool...cant wait till next...you should think about it
Thank you ^_^ it's my first fanfic ever, and I based it around what happens after Sasuke runs away from beating up Naruto. I don't know what the other chapters would be, though, because I basically just told the whole story in chapters 1, 2, & 3.
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  #5  
Old 01-19-2008, 07:24 PM
rasengan_pwns_chidori rasengan_pwns_chidori is offline
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No one else has any comments or ratings at all?
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  #6  
Old 01-19-2008, 08:38 PM
chidori-master chidori-master is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 1,535
cool write some more chapters 9/10
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  #7  
Old 01-20-2008, 06:08 AM
rasengan_pwns_chidori rasengan_pwns_chidori is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2007
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chidori-master View Post
cool write some more chapters 9/10
Thank you but as I said I don't know what the other chapters would be if anyone has any suggestions or has a favorite part of this, it would be appreciated.
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  #8  
Old 01-20-2008, 05:02 PM
rasengan_pwns_chidori rasengan_pwns_chidori is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 3,797
Oh my God someone voted 10/10! I feel so proud. I would like to thank......
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  #9  
Old 02-01-2008, 05:10 PM
Kurenai&Anko Kurenai&Anko is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 31
Wow, good job, bro, I didn't know you had it in you. You should consider a writing career.
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  #10  
Old 02-19-2008, 11:59 AM
rasengan_pwns_chidori rasengan_pwns_chidori is offline
Jonin
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 3,797
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kurenai&Anko View Post
Wow, good job, bro, I didn't know you had it in you. You should consider a writing career.
Thanks. Thread Necromancy FTW!
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