What do think
Naruto is 21 and Hinata is 19.
Today is a sad day for Naruto. Earlier that day he asked Hinata on a date. Which in shock said
“I’m sorry Naruto, But I can’t.”
She ran away and disappeared into a crowd of people. Then Neji walked noticing what just happened.
“Naruto, What did you just asked Hinata?”
“I asked her if she would go a date. Whats it to ya.”
“I’m sorry Naruto but Naruto since Hinata is too much of a baby to tell you I will.”
“Don’t call her that.”
“Well she is engaged to a high respected elite jonin that lives in another land.”
“What… You mean that Hinata is…”
“You have defied destiny before. But this has to happen. It will make peace with our nations.”
Naruto looked down. Tears drained from his eyes. Then he smiled.
“I can change any destiny.”
He ran after Hinata. Neji followed slowly. He ran for what seemed for hours. Then he saw her sitting on the ground picking some herbs. Naruto stopped abruptly and tripped over a rock and fell on his face.
“Hinata you don’t have to marry this guy. It’s your choice.”
She stood up and slapped him.
“Naruto this is my fate no matter what I feel. I can’t change it. This fate can’t be reckoned with.”
Tears ran down her face.
She turned and ran. Naruto stricken with sadness and anger. Ran home. Neji saw What happened from a distance. He wasn’t too happy with the outcome either. When Naruto reached he skipped his dinner and fell onto his bed. He tried so hard but tears crawled down from his eyes.
“Whats wrong Naruto?”
Naruto jumped in surprise. Jiraiya was sitting on his balcony. He walked in and leaned on the wall.
“Let’s talk. So, I saw you chatting with Hinata earlier. It doesn’t looked like it so well.”
“What do you care Pervy Sage.”
“Well what happened.”
“I found out that she is engaged to some ninja in another land.”
“Oh, I can’t help you there.”
“then why the heck are you still here.”
“I wanted to tell you your training starts tomorrow.”
“Alright get some sleep.”
Jiraiya left. Naruto laid down thinking to himself.
“I have defied destiny before. What should I do?”
Then it hit him. He focused as had as he could and went into a trance. He saw the giant gate and the seal of enclosure.
“What should I do Nine-tailed Fox.”
“Naruto if I were you I would get rid of the other ninja.”
“Yeah, great advice.”
“Fool, Don’t use such words at me.”
Naruto woke from his trance. In the corner of his eye he saw something moving. He walked over expecting it to be Jiraiya. Shockingly it was Hinata.
She quickly turns and kisses him. They stay like this for a few moments.
“Shhh… Naruto I have been watching you for a very long time. I love you. My father wants me to marry this other ninja. So before I do I want to spend a night with you. Our last night together. The wedding is in two days.”
She pulls Naruto to the bed. The next mourning Naruto wakes up slowly. Remembering what happen last night he looked for hinata. Yet she was already gone.
Then Naruto sees someone in the kitchen. He thinks its Hinata. So he gives her a big hug.
“NARUTO!! What are you doing?”
“Pervy Sage. What are you doing here?”
“Getting something to eat while waiting for you to wake. Which seems you are so I hope you remember your training starts today. Meet me at the gate in 3 hours.”
Jiraiya left without any other words said. Naruto said goodbye to his friends. All except Hinata. He could find her. Naruto went to the gate Jiraiya said to meet at.
“Naruto you’re on time. This is not like you at all. Whats wrong?”
“Naruto did anyone come over after I came over to your house?”
“No, nah I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Ah. What ever.”
Jiraiya smiled as he was walking away.
12 months later.
“Well that’s all the training I can do for you. Tomorrow well be going back to the leaf.”
Next day Naruto is up early. When they reach the gate Naruto speeds through it and runs to the Ramen Shop.
Rock Lee is in eating a bowl of ramen.
“Naruto how was training.”
Naruto tells Lee about his training over a bowl of ramen. After he is done he says his goodbyes. He runs up the street a little and sees Sakura.
“Hey Sakura can you tell me where Hinata is.”
“Huh, Naruto I haven’t seen you for a year and that’s the first thing you say how rude. Well she should be at her shop. There someone there you just got to meet.”
Thinking to himself, “Oh, no she really didn’t get married did she.”
She tells him how to get there. Even with the direction she gave him it took him awhile to find it. At the top of the store it said, “Hinata Herbs.” He let himself in. A man was at the front desk.
“Can I help you?”
“Is Hinata in.”
The guy left the front desk and walked into the back room. 5 minuets later came back and said she will be out shortly. 3 minuets later she came out.
“Naruto, i've been waiting for you awhile now. I got someone you got to meet. Close your eyes. Don’t peek.”
Naruto did as she asked. She led him into the back room.
“Hold out your arms.”
He did so. She put something in his arms that was light and moving. For a moment he thought it was a dog then when he opened his eyes he saw a baby with blonde hair, eyes of the Hyuga Clan, and a big smile.
“Hinata is this your baby?”
“Who is the father?”
“You are. Don’t you remember that night.”
“What. I’m a father. For real. Oh yeah, what happened with the marriage.”
“that day I slapped you. Neji saw me cry. And he couldn’t watch me do it so he called off the marriage.”
“Really Neji did that.”
Naruto never felt more confused about something in his life. But he couldn’t be happier either.
“Whats it’s name.”
“His name is Obito Uzumaki.”
“Well I heard your Sensei Kakashi say his name over in the woods and I thought it would be a good name.”
Naruto put the baby in the crib that was near him. He hugged Hinata and kissed her.
Then he got a great idea. He got on one knee and said,
“Will you marry me Hinata.”
To be continued
Hi, Cuz! Didn't expect to see at the community! I'm gonna rate, so brace yourself!
You need work on putting names with "the voices" so to speak. You also need to add emotion to the words, such as a ? or !. To add to things, he is at LEAST 13-14 in this scene, unless sasuke is back and Itachi is dead. Given everything, it's better than some of the stuff I have seen.
See ya, Cuz!
Last edited by Aria Illiria : 04-02-2008 at 08:13 AM.