True Art-Chapter 1

[theitachi444]

Made by theitachi444
[Copyright]
Ideas by theitachi444

Prologue

"Hehe, Aww come on, you dont know what true art is then." said a mysterious voice. "Don't think that you could actually master my art did you?" "Well that is no matter, you will never be a shinobi." "N-no!, I will be a great shinobi, even if I don't master this art!" said the Genin ninja.
"Deidara Sensai...why."

Storyline: This takes place in the hidden rock village, a month before Deidara becomes a rogue ninja and joins the Akatsuki. He is a Jonin, he has 3 students, Shino Yakusari, a beginner puppet master, Jori Sinbashi, a young Kunoichi, and a medic ninja, and Tora Setsuga, a struggling ninja trying to learn his sensai's "art" ways. The beginning[above] shows a simple training exercise to sharpen their skills.

1 week after the exercise...

"Tch, Tora is a failure, what is he supposed to have, he can barely keep up in running and training, he falls for every Genjutsu, and can't even do a transformation right." said Shino angrely. "Shino, you don't get it, I don't see why you complain it's not your problem." said Jori. "Actually Jori, it pretty much is, see if he is dieing or something in a battle we will have to stop and risk ambushes, attacks, and other things." said Shino cooly. "Pant...Pant... Why, why can't I do anything, why am I a failure?" said Tora sadly. " "Hmm, I think you two are doing fine, Shino and Jori. Tora, I need to talk to you for a moment." said Deidara. "Y-yes sensai?" said Tora nervously. "I need to talk to you about your clay art, remember when I taught you how to infuse chakra in them, and make them?" said Deidara. "Yes." said Tora. "See Tora, your clay art was perfect, no flaws, no anything. I couldn't believe it, but you could never release the chakra to summon them or use them." said Deidara amazed. Tora felt relieved, he was speechless, after their training was over they were gonig to do some training with the clay art.

Clay Art Training

2 be continued...tell me if you like it so far if not i dont know

[Pain11]

Post a little more, to show what characters are ijn and such, and don't go too far out of context like some people do. At least you have good grammar

[Sharingan_Warrior5693]

One thing to remember is to start a new paragraph when the speaker changes. There were a few wording issues I noticed but its overal ok.

[MMR141]

As the others said, there are some grammer issues. However, I think its interesting that you made it from the point of view of ninja that dont directly relate to the main tv characters (the leaf ninjas). I hope you continue the story soon.